The It's Never Enough Question

Dear Margo,
I come from a long line of lawyers, doctors, academics and even a few politicians. Much to my family’s dismay, I’m a writer. My first two books garnered some positive reviews, but lackluster sales. I'm working on my third, or at least supposed to be, but I’ve come down with a major case of writer’s block. What's wrong with me?

Dear There’s Always Massage School,
There’s nothing wrong with you. It's your family who’s screwed up. Mummy and Father preside over their accomplished flock and then there’s, well, you. You with your two piddly books, an expensive MFA and not doing much typing in your parent subsidized New York apartment. How can you compare (not) writing your next book when your sister, pregnant with twins, did a double lung and heart transplant yesterday while you were watching a marathon of The Real Housewives of Orange County? You can't, so don't.

What you need is a whole new family—one with more modest standards of achievement. Your new family will be in awe of your books, respect your writing process and, if you choose correctly, won't even have access to a computer to check out your books' sales ranking.

Or you could write one of those biting novels about an über patrician type family with a spotless pedigree and reveal all their not so hidden dysfunctions. Plus, it'll have the added benefit of letting you come out as a cross-dresser by basing the main character on yourself. Yeah, like that secret wasn't out already.


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