Dressing Pregnant

A few months ago I was the subject of gossip of the worst kind. Okay, maybe not the worst, but a rumor nonetheless. And it was that I was knocked up. It didn't take me too long to figure out how it got started because the chatter was localized to the elementary school parking lot.

Picking up the kid one day, I wore my usual black skinny pants and ballet flats with a swingy tunic length top. My outfit was enough to get one of the mothers whispering about the state of my uterus. Now, I can't fully blame this gal for wanting me to be as miserable as she looks having to wrangle three kids all under six to and from school. After all, she must think I have it pretty good with just the one kid and the empty hours I fill with working out so I can fit into my skinny pants. And she's right! No, she's not, but I've heard it's what she thinks I do all day because, more days than not, I'm wearing workout clothes when I drop the kid off.

I didn't bother to set the record straight and just let my smoking and diet coke drinking speak for itself. But it did get me thinking about what I'd dress like if I was...which I'm totally not.

Yes, You're Pregnant: Old Navy

Cowl-Neck Jersey Dresses, black jack, $29.50
Floral-Print Jersey Dresses, gray, $29.50
Ruched Cross-Front Jersey Dresses, sea blue, $29.50
Let's face it, buying maternity clothes sucks. At least it did for me. I spent about $200 on a pair of black pants at Pea in the Pod and was so bitter about it, I burst into tears right outside the shop's doors. The poor husband just stood there, holding the stupid shopping bag, patting me on the back. A few weeks later Old Navy launched their maternity line and I got a few pairs of jeans to see me through the end of my pregnancy. As for those expensive PitP pants? I wore them twice and they were the first thing I tossed out as soon as I got home from the hospital. What's the lesson? Don't spend tons of money on stuff you can't wear when you get your life back. I'm still bitter about those $200 pants, but I can totally live with spending $30 on a borderline dumpy jersey dress. Paired with either flats or sensible wedge heel sandals, it's almost a look that won't make you feel dumpy.

No Morning Sickness Here: MANGO

BTC Zip, yolk, $109.09
RT-Zipper, orange, $109.90
QF-Bird, red, $119.09
The thing about being pregnant is that you're only going to be really pregnant for the last few months. Or at least I was. I wore my regular tops and dresses up until the last few weeks when I finally admitted that I was tired. (After that it was maternity yoga pants, sneakers, t-shirts with a pullover sweater I had to toss because it stretched out in the most pregnant way.) I'd wear any of these three dresses, especially the yellow and orange, again with flats or some cute wedge sandals. You don't have to be pregnant to wear a cute dress, but looking cute might get you pregnant.

I'm Still Me, but Pregnant: MaxStudio

Grecian Goddess dress, green, $268
Drapped dress, heather charcoal, 118
Asymmetrical knit dress, dark green $118
Just because you are pregnant, doesn't mean you have to dress like it...at least until you really start showing. And just because you're pregnant it doesn't mean you have to stop dressing like you normally do. (Unless you normally wear sweats. If that's the case, congrats on finding the one man who finds a gal in sweats sexy.) A good drape can hide or accentuate a belly or one that's full of pasta. Any of these dresses would work during and after pregnancy, but I'd prefer them in lieu of with a great pair of heels.

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