Dress Like a Girl

Recently, the husband and I spent some time together without the usual buffer of the kid, friends or family. My intent was to wing it, do whatever we felt like and not feel bad about not doing much of anything. As soon as the husband whipped out a printout of our scheduled activities, I knew a relaxing weekend was out of the question. (To his credit he did budget in "relaxing time" and I made sure I made good on every minute of it.)

One activity which nearly caused me to book a room of my own was shopping. Sigh, shopping. I like blogging about it, talking about it, but doing it anywhere except on my computer or as fast as possible on my own isn't what I consider fun. I especially dislike shopping with the husband who takes forever to decide between denim washes.

But in the spirit of a harmonious, if not romantic, weekend I agreed to go with him even when he told me the purpose of our shopping expedition would be to find me an outfit. And not just any outfit. He wanted to find one that would make me look like a girl. Because, according to the husband, I don't dress like one and...well, he has me there. My dream is to dress like Uma Thurman in Gattaca (which the husband wouldn't mind), but he had his heart set on something where "pretty" would be the first word to come to mind when I stepped out the dressing room.

It took a couple of hours of non-relaxing time, but we managed to cobble together a head-to-toe outfit that he likes and I'll actually wear. (And I'm supposed to wear it on Valentine's Day but that's a whole other issue and blog.) Our shopping trip got me thinking. Just what kind of girl does the husband think I am and what kind of girl does he actually want me to be?

Boring Girl:
All J. Crew: Sophia navy dress, $175
Glass teardrop gold earrings gold, $48
Small crystal  antique gold bracelet,$65
Rory strappy toffee sandals, $188

Oh, what a pretty yawn. And that's what I did when the husband pointed out a dress very similar to the Sophia at our first stop, J. Crew. It's kind of like the dress Tina Fey's character wore in Date Night and we all know how that night ended up. Actually, it might make sense since the wide straps of the dress can conceal a heavy duty sports bra. Just what I'd need if I was running away from crooked cops.

Good Girl:

All anthropologie: Rainbow confetti green dress by Leifsdottir, $298
Stoplight drops mulit-color earrings, $198
Hatshepsut gold bangle, $38
Floral fandango purple heels, by Miss Albright, $188
In this outfit, I could see myself sipping cup after cup of tea at a very proper party while silently seething inside. I'd smile, make innocuous conversation about the weather or someone's weight, never hinting at my inner turmoil. I'd slip away while no one was looking and have a torrid make-out session with the pool boy and return just in time for a fresh pot of tea sans my very pretty panties.

Bad Girl:
All Forever 21:Ruched metallic black/silver dress, $19.80
Faux diamond strand earrings,$3.80
Wide faux diamond bracelet, $14.80
Nicolette black with polished trim pumps, $25.80
I knock Forever 21 for being too cheap and much too young for anyone over 19, but I can't deny that if you want to slut it up on a budget, this is the place to go. The total cost of this outfit is less than a weekend's grocery bill. Cheap! In all senses of the word! As a longtime married lady with a kid, a dog and other non-slutty responsibilities that really gets my rocks off.

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