The Plan for Paris

There comes a time in every adults life, or at least in mine, when they have to take charge of how the want to celebrate (or not) their own birthday.

A tangent. What's up with birthdays? Yes, I know it's, a day for all to celebrate you being around. But if you think about it, and I have, it should be a celebration of giving birth day. Mom did all the work, even if she loused you up afterward. There wouldn't be a birthday without a birth and that's all due to the woman who went through pregnancy, labor, etc, etc. I, as someone who has given birth, think its time I get (and give) proper recognition for the part I played. And, no, I don't mean I want the first slice of cake. It's more than that. Mother's Day? Whatever, that's some marketing tool and a brunch doesn't come close to making up for all the crap mothers have to put up with all year 'round. And I don't want to hear any dads clamoring for glory. Try as they might, they didn't get pregnant and they didn't give birth. They shot a load and there really is no miracle in that. All it takes is moist friction. What would I like? A gift certificate to a spa or just a card (with a gift certificate to a spa tucked inside) would suffice. I'd enjoy it day after the day of his birth. I'm not such a bitch that I'd miss my own kid's birthday party to luxuriate at the spa. Maybe once he's older and much more snotty...End tangent.

Where was I? Oh, Paris. That's where I'm going to celebrate my next birthday this coming August. The last birthday I planned for myself involved a trip to a taping of The Price Is Right. My Dad loves TPIS. It's his most favorite show. My Mom also gets a kick out of it but my Dad is an actual fan and he got to see Bob Barker host just before he retired. All in all, it was a good birthday and I'm glad I arranged it. This year, though, I'm arranging to take my aging butt to Paris. I won't feel bad about not taking my Mom and Dad along. They got to go to Venice and Rome, visiting the Vatican before Pope John Paul made his final exit.

Times being what they are, a week (or two!) in Paris will require some budgeting and saving on my part (bleh!). I'm willing to make the sacrifices except when it comes to shoes. Below I've put together my version of being scrimpy, versatile and not at all delusional as the idea of this trip is.

One Dress Three Ways:
The dress is not only Old Navy, but it's under $20 (cap sleeve jersey dress in black, $19.99). It'll be like slipping into a long T-shirt. And yes, I plan to wear boyshorts underneath for the sake of not having to spend money on getting a decent wax. Sorry, Paris. Yes, I plan to take more than one dress. Or maybe, at this price, I'll just buy a few of the same and wear the same damn thing, aside from the shoes, for the entire trip. Sorry, Paris.

Since it'll be summer, I can get away with the Corso Como Fidda sandals in cognac I've been hankering for. Even better, Zappos has reduced them from $119 to $90. I've put off buying them for far too long, Fidda haters. I have to buy them or I'll forever wonder how ugly they really are in person.

My only planned activity is to walk and walk, sit and rest, and then walk and walk some more. For that I'll need shoes which won't kill my feet. Why not get sneakers? Why not get gold sneakers!? These Earth Kindles, $149, make all sorts of promises, but I think they're dorky cool and will look good peaking out from jeans.

Oh, my lust for flats. And what I most lust for are London Sole flats. These simple black suede with black leather trim flats look like the pair I got from Martin+Osa for $40, but I know the power of the $249 London Sole version will be transformative. As will be my birthday trip. If anything I can say I spent it in Paris. My Mom will understand me having to put off implementing my new giving birth day tradition so I can use the money toward my trip.

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