Is It Over Yet?

I am not a fan of malls or shopping in general. I mean, I do shop, but I try to do so as strategically as possible. For me shopping is an exercise in expediency--I know what I want and I know where I can get it. Yes, it takes the joy out of wandering aimlessly from store to store, looking for that one thing that you aren't entirely sure why you're searching for in the first place. There are places I do let myself dither, the bookstore and Sephora, but otherwise my goal is to get in, get it and get out. Kind of the way some men think about dating.

Either way, I had the unfortunate experience of going shopping with a ditherer and browser. Rather, they found themselves in my unpleasant company for the longest couple of hours of my life. We went to the Glendale Galleria, where I worked a few retail jobs during junior college, none of which are in business anymore, to shop. The sheer number of bodies packed inside led me to question the veracity of the "People aren't shopping! Is this really America!?" stories I've been hearing on the news. From what I could see, everyone was loaded down with bags and bags of stuff. Maybe they didn't have keeping the economy afloat in mind, but they were buying. Merchants were doing their part by practically giving stuff away. I don't get boners over sales, but if I were the type, no amount of Viagra would have equaled the wood I would have been sporting.

I, in the spirit of the season, even consented to go to not one but two doggie boutique stores in search for a sweater for, yes, a dog. (Now that I think of it, do they make "clothes" for cats?) My dog, Schubert, went in for a much needed grooming session and came out denuded of her warmth giving hair which means she keeps jumping on the bed at night to keep warm.

I didn't find a sweater which I could make her wear in good conscious but I did get to see how some people can't tell their dogs (especially the teeny tiny ones) from people. I like my dog, even love her, but I know she's a dog and I think she does, too.

I'm still on the look out for the perfect stripy sweater for her to sport on our daily jaunts and maybe a little something else she can sleep in at night. When I see it, I'll buy it even though I bet her hair grows out by then. I may only mouth the words to the national anthem, if that much, but when it comes to buying stuff for the sake of buying stuff, I think my country can rely on me to even pay retail once in a while.

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