Qi? Chi? Qué?

The sister has just informed me of a chi (qi, to more than a billion people out there) crises at the family homestead way out in Cypress Park. Our mother, adverse to exercise as she is, has taken a dislike to the chi machine she got to replace the other chi machine she had. Seems that this new chi machine went a little loco on the speed and hurt her back. Or rather, she hurt her back by jacking up the speed on it. Now for all you out there (me included until recently) who don't know what the hell a chi machine is or what it does, here is the skinny from amazon.com:

"...primarily maximizes both physical and mental oxygenation, increases your energy, aligns your spine, raises your metabolic rate, improves your blood circulation and enables detoxification. This aerobic exerciser also massages, regulates, tones and relaxes the body without any stress or effort."

As disturbing as I find that our mother has started to dabble in alternative therapies (hey, the lady is old school all the way in every other aspect of her life), what bothers me most is that she's managed to tweak her back using a device that basically promises passive exercise. Making fun of each other in my family is an enthusiastically shared pastime, but even I can't make fun of our mother on this one. It's just too...easy.

So the sister, being the enabler in all of this, has got me going halfers on a new model of the first chi machine for our mother's birthday and I'll be buying the supercharged one from our mom. And, yeah, I plan to jack up the speed because I want my passive exercise to be aggressive.

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