Meeting of the Minds

Funny things happen when a person is doing something like planning a wedding, redecorating a bedroom or writing a book--it turns out more than one person has an opinion on how it should all turn out.

I planned one wedding, albeit a small one, and after that experience vowed never, ever to subject myself to such insanity again. It wasn't even fun insanity, but pure selfish drama on the part of people who had no business trying to steal my spotlight. Lesson learned, don't ask people what they think of your wedding plans when you really don't want their opinion.

When it comes to decorating styles, mine is very different from my mother and sisters' who have their own variations on what an ideal dwelling looks like to them--it would be really weird, and by weird I mean sick, if we all set up our homes exactly the same. I like things simple, functional and uncluttered. Or boring as they put it, but it's what I like. So I've learned not to get too miffed when they give something, say a couch or table, that look--you know the one--when they finally see what I've spent my money and floor space on. I like what I like and I have to live with it whereas they're only visiting. So here is a place where its easy to agree to disagree.

The funny thing about book writing is that, at some point, you invite, cajole and even beg for other people's opinions. I went for years without a willing reader or really anyone who cared about what I was typing and I got used to slogging through drafts, edits and rewrites on my own until I found the right agent and editor. One of the great things about finally getting published is that you have a couple of other people (your agent and editor) on your side who are invested in what you write and are willing to take the time to go over a work in progress. Except it might turn out to be a case where you have three very different opinions. Ultimately, you have to write the book you know you can write, but at the same time balance the suggestions and insights from people who have your best interest at heart.

So as I proceed with How Can I Tell You, tweaking and refining it as I go, I can only hope that what winds up on the printed page shows all of our best efforts. If not, it's not like I can blame anyone else since it's my name on the cover.

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