The Ring Thing

I don't wear my wedding ring, a channel-set band, which doubled as my engagement ring, or the ring the husband gave me when I turned thirty, a Tiffany setting with a tiny diamond I'd mentioned I found cute, or the other ring he got me two summers ago when we found ourselves walking past, yes, Tiffanys in real good moods. I can't seem to find the summer ring so I feel bad about not wearing it, a simple thin platinum band, and every so often I tear apart the place where I'm sure I last wore it to look for it. The kid has started to notice the lack of ring on my finger and has asked about it here and there. Sometimes he pulls them out of my super-secure hiding place and has me try them on and knows enough to put them away when we're done playing with them. So why don't I wear them? Oh, dear, there are so many different reasons.

First, I would slip it/them off at night or when I typed because it/they either got in the way or slipped off. Second, the whole conflict diamond issue. I was a rabid listener of NPR during some very hormonal times around 2001 and heard this horrid story about blood diamonds coming out of Africa. So off the rings went. Third, the husband makes a point of telling, telling, me to wear it/them when he gets all uppity-up about it. Like during our recent trip to New York when most of his family was there. My editor Sulay noticed how I was fidgeting with the ring and I admitted to her I was only wearing it for "show." I shoved it into my carry-on right after we got back to the hotel from the bat mitzvah reception because I was just so grossed out by everyone's behavior, including my own.

So, suffice to say, I have a real love-hate-mostly hate relationship with my rings. (Don't get me started on earrings. Too late! I have two pairs. One I'm fond of but can't find and one that invokes such rage in me I'm tempted to think I have issues simmering just below the surface which have nothing to do with jewelry.) But I still have them, somewhere, and even though I've thought about it, they're not going on ebay anytime soon. So what to do? Why take them, those I can find, and turn them into something I will wear because I want to. To save the kid anymore mental scars, I'll turn them into a ring that I have to like since I caused all this trouble and the husband will feel better for spending all that money. So its win-win for everyone.

The channel-set band is nice and has diamonds all the way around. I'm not sure how many as I've never tried to count them. I do remember a friend's mother flipping my hand over, right after I got it, to see if it was a full band and not a half band which Tiffanys also sells. The middle ring is an approximation of the one I have as they only had the honking sized rock one on the site, but that's pretty much what it looks like. And, for whatever reason, I really liked the ring Jude Law gave Sienna Miller a few years back. I especially liked it when they had someone analyze it in US magazine or People and they said the ring was the sign that the giver/wearer was pompous and egotistical. I think that pretty much fits the bill for me! Either way, the goal is to have a flat band and cluster all the diamonds with the slightly larger one in the middle. I think it'll look simple and modern. As well as egotistical and pompous.

Now I just have to find someone to do it.

Replies to anonymous and Anonymous:
The third picture is of the Sienna Miller/Jude Law engagement ring. Never to be seen again or rendered in cubic zirconia and white and yellow gold plate as a celebrity inspired ring on one of those sites that traffic in knock-offs and fantasy. Some would say it was a bad luck ring from the start because the design was so not what you'd expect a guy with bucks to give a gal.

I'm thinking I read that it was analyzed as being from an egotistical and cheap giver before the whole Jude porking the nanny episode, but I may be wrong. It would have been too easy to point this out afterward.

Still. I do like the design and see it as a viable solution to the ring situation that currently has become an issue around here. Mostly just on my part.


Anonymous said...

i like the third of the that the one jude got for sienna?

it wasn't clear from your article

sidenote: i don't think it is egotistical at all...i think it has a sacredness to it. it reminds me of a bishop's ring or royalty...i think that is the proper frame for marriage...don't you agree? ;)

Anonymous said...

i would like to add something...please don't feel guilty about wearing diamonds...especially when it regards marriage rings.

i myself got into a long drawn out debate on a messageboard many years ago regarding the wearing of diamonds...that site in my opinion was anti marriage. i am proud of my contribution and fought hard for the wearing of diamonds on that awful woman hating site. i am not married and do not wear jewelry but i consider marriage a sacred thing and resent those who despise this sacred and blessed artifact of marriage. the harsh criticism i received only made me angrier and more determined that i was right and looking back on it all now...i see that they have an "anti-marriage anti-woman except for promiscuous noncommital sex" agenda

Anonymous said...

and have ties to sex websites and sex businesses.

Anonymous said...

hey i just read more of your blog and found you like war of the roses...i like that one too as a cautionary tale and have a copy of my own.

one thing i've noticed is that there are not a lot of realistic love stories out there that feature truly happy marriages.

i was wondering...could you write one please?

i made the same request to nicolas sparks and he hasn't done it yet.

so i figure i'd plant the seed here since you've also written three books already.

nothing tragic would be my request. maybe you could start interviewing old married couples or ladies in retirmenment homes. maybe you'll get a gem of a story and it will become a big movie hit. the movie industry is awful right now...they lack true inspiration. hardly any good stories are being produced...everything is morbid and strange in my opinion. well like 80% of it has been.

well think about it
i hope you consider my request

thanks and god bless!