Conspicuous Consumption: Lady Pants

There was a time when I had to be forced to wear pants, either due to extreme weather or inhospitable environment (like snow and that one hike I took when I was 26). I have a few dresses and some skirts in my closet but for me it's all about pants (OK, jeans).

I've never paid more than $100 bucks for a pair of jeans, but consider pants an investment. (Anything under $100 are pants, plus $100, trousers.) I went out a few weeks ago with the sole intention of augmenting my grown-up lady clothes selection and I went right for, yes, pants.

Express Pants--The Guilt Free Almost-Trousers:
Why do I like Express pants? Several reasons with the first being that I've discovered I can toss them in the wash (cold) and the dryer (pulling them out while still damp when I remember) and they don't get ruined. I'm not a big fan of dry cleaning--which says more about the way I dress and type of clothes I own. Second, depending on the cut (and they have several) I'm between a four and six and I can either wear an R (regular inseam) with flats or with modest heels. Lastly, comes the price. At around $80 I don't just waltz in to buy a pair when the mood strikes me, but Express is always giving out handy discount coupons or having quiet mark-downs. A couple of weeks ago I picked up two hipster style (left) pants and got one pair for $20 off and another 20% off the whole shebang because I redeemed a we appreciate you coupon. Still haven't worn them and they are both high heel length so I'm debating if I should give them a hem. (Guess what came today in the mail? Another 20% off deal.)

The Theory Test:
Now there are pants and there are trousers. Theory makes trousers, not pants. Even if I were to score a pair on super sale, they'd still be trousers. Women who own them say they do amazing things, like instant liposuction and butt lift. It's a lot faith and money to put into a pair of trousers, but at $320 I'd expect something. The sister owns a pair (scored at a reasonable $150 at the outlets) and says they are the best pants she owns which is why she doesn't wear them. Makes sense to me!

In the Club:

Club Monaco is my favorite store. I own about four or five pairs of their trousers all scored at the outlet store for pant prices. They closed the outlet (which almost convinced me to cancel a trip to Palm Springs since my intention was mostly to just go there, not spend time with the husband) but I'm well stocked for some time to come. Like with just about everything Club Monaco makes, the pairs I own are all pretty classic cuts and not too trendy--the cream high waisted slouchy pants to the left notwithstanding. Those are tall lady pants. I'm no tall lady and have no need to look that put together. Maybe if I was a lawyer or worked at Nordstroms.

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