Chones

There comes a time in most women's lives when they have to take a critical look behind them and admit that the passage of time has not been so kind in some areas. Areas like the ass. As I'm doing (almost) all I can to make sure mine looks better tomorrow than it did a month ago it's in my best interest to make sure I showcase it in flattering styles (no highwaisted pants, no pleated anything and no droopy butt jeans).

As I was getting dressed the other day, I reached into my top drawer where I keep my sock and underpants in tangled mess and pulled out pair after pair of gap lace and cotton thong (left). I said to the husband, "I think I'm too old to wear thongs." And he looked at me and said, "That's sad." Notice he didn't try to talk me out of making this underwear leap he merely confirmed that maybe the days of the gap thong had run their course. For once we're in agreement. I am someone's mother after all and I've heard there are underpants out there that are just, if not more, comfortable than thongs. (By the way, what an awful word, thong, it just sounds skanky.)

Where to start? Why with a panty sampling staying far away from anything that looks thong-like. Since the aim is to look for cheek coverage, I knew I couldn't cheat it with tangas (which, truthfully, just wind up wadded in your crack since there's too little material to anchor it in place and too much for it to nestle in comfortably) and since I have bad memories of bikini underpants and briefs (the horror!) I concentrated on boyshorts and hipsters as a compromise.

Now these barely there hipsters (around $9) might just look like thick bikini underpants but they're not. They're hipsters which mean they sit on the hip and have a full back. They're also a high tech material that I'm hoping doesn't give me a yeast infection.





These are boyshorts as interpreted by wonderbra makers of that once famous bra. At around $9 per pair they are pretty enough so that if I ever have my skirt blow up I won't be too embarrassed to have these on display. Better than having the world see my thong is all I can say. They also stay in place when pulling jean duty and look nice.





If I had to pick an early favorite it'd have to be these maidenform stretchy lace boyshorts. I'm not sure how they'll do under jeans but they're my go to chones for dresses since they lie flat against the body and don't ride up. Nothing worse than looking all pretty and crap and having to reach around to pick bits of underwear out of creases.




My search is not over yet and I'm still auditioning contenders so feel free to suggest your favorites. (Also, what's up with all the lower case letter brand names?)

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