Conspicuous Consumption: Stupid and Useful

I'm back from wherever I was which I plan to disappear to again soon, but in the meantime I must blog.

Today's topic (which will also serve as Monday's post) is on some of the really stupid things I've purchased that have varying degrees of use. Since I spend an inordinate amount of time alone, I have the freedom to scrutinize my tergum (skin, to my non-Latin readers and I mean Latin, not Spanish). I admit it. I used part of my book advance in my quest for better skin and will continue to do so since I'm a dumb bunny with too much time on her hands and has no idea why people have 401Ks.

Super Laser:
Last year I had a series of IPL zappings to my visage (French for face). It did help with texture and tone and it also freakin' hurt. I toughed it out to save the time of having to let numbing cream work. Though I wouldn't do it again, I would look into the next generation of this type of technological tomfoolery once another check arrives in the mail. Price: Not Cheap. Results: Almost Worth It.

Fast Sand:
Here and there (like when I've had disposable income) I've visited my local medi-spa for microdermabrasion. Fine sand or whatever it is, is shot at your face and sucked up with a hose. This actually works and, if you go to someone who makes it as close to a spa experience as possible, is actually almost fun. I've had both versions and I prefer to have my skin pampered with some after 'brasion salve and sunscreen applied by practiced hands. Price: Moderate to Indulgent. Results: Worth It.

Since the AmEx bill is, like, joint, I have to curb my medi-spa tendencies. But lucky for me, there are a variety of home based products within a short drive to Target away.

Sponge Worthy:
When people ask if its worth buying a Neutrogena MicroDermabrasion kit I say, "Hell yes!" But there are some drawbacks. The cream you are supposed to use is a pisser to wash off, it gets everywhere. I always try to remember to do it before I jump in the shower which means I usually don't remember. Also, the evil powers that be at Neutrogena have stopped selling the cream and replacement sponge heads separately, now packaging the two and giving you less of each. Fuckers. I didn't let that stop me. I got a bunch of sponges via ebay and the cream lasts a long time. And when its gone, I'll be looking to alternatives, Neutrogena. Price: Affordable. Results: Visible with Consistent Use.

Red Hot:
Some months back my face erupted with some pretty significant zits, a couple big enough to cast shadows. I could have picked up a tube of Clearasil, but I let myself be sucked in by the sheer gadgetry of Zeno. You press a couple of buttons and when it beeps you press the "medicated" tip to the zit and listen to it fry. As well as being "medicated," the tip is hot. Not warm, but hot. I'm not completely sold on the Zeno (even though I bought one) but I do reach for it when I feel another Mount Vesuvius erupting on my chin. Price: Indulgent. Results: Spotty at Best.

Suck It:
Around the time I was stalking my local and not so local Target and drugstore for Neutorgena replacement sponges, I came upon the Dermapower Professional Grade Home Dermabrader. Ain't that a mouthful! Basically, it's little tiny rounds of SANDPAPER that vibrates or rotates while the unit SUCKS in. I'll say this for it, it does leave skin red which in my mind equals results. This is not a tool for someone with sensitive skin (or face herpes according to the directions) but it does work. Price: Indulgent. Results: Red Today, Better Tomorrow.

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