Conspicuous Consumption: The Wedding Dress

The husband and myself are going to a wedding this Saturday and I'm using it as an excuse to purchase an event appropriate dress that I can wear again on a more sane occasion. I could wear the black dolman sleeved 12th Street which looks great despite the fact I've slacked off on the workouts, but the husband is adamant I not wear black. He's even gone as far as to send me all sorts of etiquette links to prove his point.

Fine. Whatever. I'll buy a new dress then.

Of course I've enlisted the able help of the sister who is a champion online shopper and under the supervision of an inattentive manager at her job.

She sent me the link to this Common Threads cap sleeve silk front tie dress. It's pretty but at $240, I'd have to be looking forward to more than dried out hotel banquet room halibut to shell out the bucks for it. The dress comes in a 'dusty rose' but I'd only consider it in a navy as I don't want to be mistaken for a bride's maid, plus the navy would look good with my purple Delman's which I'm now building my entire fantasy wardrobe around.

My choice for a dress is decidedly more wallet friendly and a bit more down market. I came upon this dress from Nine West while browsing around the Macy's site (there's a Macy's near my home so my thought was too do a little pre-scouting to see what I could expect to find on the racks) and it's on sale! On sale is always good. It's also silk, and though black, it's saved from looking a little too too by the colorful zigzags at the hem that will tie in, yes, with my Delman's. My sister called it a sack, but I like it and will be rather peeved if I can't find it in store--which most likely I won't and it's too late to order it online.

But there is one thing we can both agree upon and its just how wrong this Tocca sun dress is. In those links about the dos and don'ts for wedding guests, the one thing that was stressed again and again is that no one should outshine the bride. I took this to mean not to wear white, or even cream and I most certainly think it would include not wearing bull's eyes on your bosoms.

The Nordstrom's site describes it as having a 'folksy' print, but I don't see what's so folksy about two hypnotizing spirals centered right over a lady's fun bags. The model is fairly modestly endowed but I still can't stop staring at her chest. Imagine what the dress would look like on someone sporting a pair of C-cups? And how pissed off a bride would be if someone's wife showed up to her wedding wearing such a dress and a kick ass pair of purple high heels and whose gift was the cheapest thing they registered for?

So what's in store for me today? A trip to the mall! And a buttery Wetzle's Pretzel to make a sack-like dress all the more appealing and necessary.

Edit: No luck at the mall so I'll be heading to the other mall tomorrow.

No comments: