Conspicuous Consumption: Obligatory LBD

There comes a time in most women's lives when she'll need to outfit her wardrobe with a no-brainer of dress that is suitable for almost any occasion. Currently I have one or two (maybe three) little black dresses hanging in my pitiful closet but the time has come to upgrade.

Why? I have in my possession the most perfect pair of no guilt purple Delman high heels. When I put them on I gasped (I actually did!) at how trim they make my ankles look.

Why purple? That's exactly what the sister asked. The truth is the shoes are a very neutral shade but still punchy enough so they stand out and being that my shoes are sometimes the only interesting thing about me, I decided to stay away from the safe black version. I didn't buy these shoes to be practical--a 3" heel does not say comfort to me--and know they'll only be coming out for specific occasions.

So I have the shoes. Now I need the dress.

I got this Twelfth St. Cynthia Vincent dress at the same time I ordered the Delman heels on Bluefly.com. I had very high hopes for it but as soon as I pulled it out of the shipping box, I knew it would be going straight back. It was way too long and a bit too big (I got an M). When I tried it on I looked like a Mexican Stevie Nicks wannabe in a witchy mood. I hiked the skirt up to my knee and realized it was just too much dress for my frame.

I said farewell to it at the post office the very next day. When I broke the news to the sister she said, "Why don't you just go into a store and try on dresses, then buy one?" Isn't it obvious? The whole point to online shopping is to not have to deal with the actually shopping part of shopping.

Next time I'll pay better attention to the length from the natural waist. Lesson learned.

So back to Bluefly I clicked and came up with a couple of likely contenders, all by 12th St. since, like I've said before, I just don't want to deal.

This one caught my eye for it's easy shape (who doesn't like a smocked slip-on dress?) and lovely color of dark gray. They also have it in black, but given a choice between black and dark gray I decided to throw caution to the wind and be come enamored of the dark gray. And how cute would it look with my Delman's? It would almost look like I put actually thought into dressing. The sister was less than impressed, but I put it in my cart anyway.






This one, has two great things going for it--the sleeves and it's another pull-over style. But! At 5'5" and 36 I need to keep length in mind. I used to run around in super-short skirts during the whole "Friends" era when that Rachel Green wore them cut up to just under her ass. Those days, my friends, are long gone. So even though this dress is a bit shorter, it would hit above knee on me but not so high that I'd feel like a sad almost middle aged slut lady. What would really put it in that category is the deep V. I may not have the ass I did back in the 1990s but I still do have a decent rack. I'd have to feel pretty gusty to go sans bra or invest in one of those knocker contraptions fashion magazines sometimes feature for this kind of supportive situation.

So what do do? My second choice was deemed cute but blah by the only person I really trust to ask and my third has limited usability due to it not being blah enough.

Then a miracle happened in the form of a slip-on (!) dolman sleeved black silk boat necked draw string waist dress.

It has everything I could ask for. It's the right length, has sleeves and covers the cleavage so I don't have to worry about people asking me if I'd like some cantaloupe juice at parties. Plus, the sister has clued me in on a coupon and I'm going to let her think she can borrow it so she'll read my manuscript faster.

How perfect is that!

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