Pending Fashion Crises

Yes, I know. I've been shopping a lot lately so how is it that I have nothing to wear for an upcoming TV appearance?

Easy. I haven't been shopping with TV in mind. Shoes, I have more than covered and I won't be carrying my purse on set and I know I'm wearing jeans (nice ones) so that just leaves my torso and head to worry about.

I'm growing out my Audrey Tautou short crop (left) which I really loved even more because of the negative responses I got from the men in my family. Guys just can't deal with a woman with short hair. I think it makes them nervous for all sorts of Freudian reasons. Anyway. Lucky for me I went through the really weird growing out stage some weeks back when my hair looked like I'd spent time in a women's penatentiary and now I can work it into some semblance of a style. So the hair I can deal with and will make an extra effort besides washing it and putting some gunk in it to make it look deliberately messy.

Now, I'm supposed to arrive camera ready, which I take to mean covering up my zits and dark circles will be up to me. This is where I'm a little worried. I'm a very light make-up person. I wear just enough make-up so that it looks like I need to wear make-up. I'm seriously considering making an appointment at Perscriptives or Laura Mercier to have them spackle my face. OK, so that crises might almost be resolved.

Now for the part of me that begins at my neck and ends at the waist band. One thing I don't want to deal with are headlights. I'm only human and I'll be nervous so there's a good chance there'll be nip issues. So I'll break out the Victoria's Secret bra (Angel wireless or something, but not the IPEX) that has proven nipple detection protection but I don't wear because it makes me feel like I'm all boobs. But under the right top, and if I make sure to sit up properly, that shouldn't be much of an issue.

It's the top I'm most worried about. The producer's memo said to avoid white, black and red. What colors do I look best in? Why, white, black and red, of course. I can't do a basic button down shirt since I always feel very constricted in those. I can't do anything too tight because that would be rude and would show my stomach roll if I let myself relax. I also want my arms covered because I tend to get cold and, most importantly, I want to buy something I'll like and wear again. So it's off to the mall for me sometime this week where I'll try on an endless variety of shirts, blouses and sweaters until I'm close to tears and will probably wind up wearing something already in my closet.

I know you know what I mean. Wish me luck!

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