She Who Hesitates, Regrets

There are very few things I regret in life. Not that I'm a water-under-the-bridge, live-and-let-live kind of person, I'm a viciously lapsed Catholic after all. But I've never seen the benefit of living with a suitcase of things you can't change. I prefer to focus on the future using the past as a guide book for mistakes not to make again.

On the trivial side, and most of my regrets tend to be, I'm still kicking myself over not buying the perfect coat at Club Monaco in 2005. At $329 or so it wasn't super-expensive, but for whatever reason I hesitated even though every time I found myself at the San Francisco Shopping Center I made sure to try it on. It was the perfect weight, shade of ivory and fit me perfectly. And then one day it was gone. I've gone so far as to search for it on ebay, but no luck.

Another regret, also clothing related, was not bulk buying the most perfected pair of stacked loafers and lace-up shoes by Guess. Nowadays you wouldn't catch me even going into a Guess store, but this was pre-Paris Hilton ad campaign. I lived in these shoes, the lace-ups, then the loafers, then another pair of lace-ups even though I was a college student, living on a few bucks a day. I invested a good chunk of my student worker salary for good shoes and I still think of them fondly as I do of my metabolism at the time.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd taken that internship with Elizabeth Farnsworth working at the NewHour's San Francisco bureau. But that one is so ladden with what-ifs I'd prefer not to contemplate it without the aid of a qualified therapist.

So in keeping with my usual regrets I'll add one more. Not watching The Departed when it was out in theaters. Yesterday I took a mental holiday and decided to bugger off from my usual routine of staring blankly at my computer monitor and rent a movie. There was the option of The Lake House, but I wasn't in the mood for something romantic and squishy. Instead, prompted by its recent best picture win (way to go marketing!) I grabbed The Departed, pretended to agree with the guy that I'd have it back by Friday and headed home. I fixed myself lunch as usual, and after checking my email one last time settled myself in front of the TV and was completely blown away. I haven't seen a movie this good in a long, long time. And all I could think was "It would have been so much better in a theater."

So I've resolved to take myself to the movies on a regular basis to catch the first show of the day and enjoy them as they were meant to be. Alone.

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